Name: Aidan Caine
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 251 lbs.
Alignment: Face
Entrance Theme: "Smack Down" by Thousand Foot Krutch
Finisher: Tria Mera / Paradise Lost
MPW Accomplishmennts: First Ever MPW Title Holder - Current North American Champion
RP Notes: Match RP # 1; People Mentioned: Apostle Kried, Bill Adams, Electra Stevens, Rage, Bliss
Aidan Caine was a man in trouble. Subconsciously he knew this even before his eyes jerked open, aroused from a not so pleasant slumber by a nightmare he couldn’t quite recall despite its images having been very much alive only moments before in his thoughts. For a second he didn’t know where he was but then he looked down and saw Electra Stevens' sleeping form cuddled up against him and everything came rushing back. Her head was resting on his bare chest, an arm draped comfortably across his midsection, her naked skin flush with his own. He carefully reached down and covered her bare shoulder with the thin cotton sheet of the hotel bedding so she wouldn’t get cold, his mind taking him back to the events that had lead to them both being exactly where they found themselves in that very moment.
Lexi had come up to his room that first night after dinner and Aidan had made them drinks at the wet bar. He’d gotten the Royal Suite. It wasn’t the nicest of the accommodations the hotel offered but it was pretty close and still impressive, especially with the city views it offered from its top floor location. What had started out as more talking had quickly lead to more kissing which had then lead to a place he’d never expected at the start of the night, namely, the bedroom. After all the bases had been touched, a total of three times, their one on one game had been called on account of sleep. Sunrise had only been a few hours away at that point and the combination of physical fatigue and the “so late it was early” hour had gotten the best of both of them. Now Caine lightly banged his head back against the headboard of the king bed and silently cursed himself for getting in this position. Technically Lexi wasn’t at work anymore so he hadn’t broken his cardinal rule but unfortunately he also wanted her to come back. There lay the problem. With a silent sigh and a shake of the head he turned to stare out the floor to ceiling picture windows lining one whole wall. The lights of the Toronto skyline twinkled like manmade stars in the night. Carefully Aidan wrapped his right arm around Lexi’s sleeping frame, pulling her a little closer and taking a few moments to watch her sleep. He wondered why it was that when you least expected it you always found something worth changing your plans for, even when you hadn’t known you wanted it in the first place. Her skin had been so smooth and soft, her lips supple, her body perfect… he liked the way she had looked that first morning, her makeup gone and her hair adorably tousled. How she had immediately wanted room service, specifically pancakes… oh yeah, he was in big trouble. Fuck.
They’d spent the rest of the second day with Matthew, taking him to a movie and then out for pizza. They’d ended up briefly back at Caine’s hotel room again where Matthew had proceeded to “beat up” Aidan and then drag around his US title belt for an hour after, the victor in his own mind and to Aidan’s amusement. He liked her son. He had a daughter and had no idea about little girls. But he’d been a little boy once so he could relate to Matty in an almost instinctual way. Caine had booked some kind of massage, face, nail, girl-thing package for Lexi on the third and final day of his Toronto trip that the concierge had highly recommended so he could have some time alone to call his mom in North Carolina and talk to Gracie. Not to mention if Lexi was still getting the hang of being a single parent like he had been for the past ten months he was sure she could use a little break for some relaxation for herself. God knew he’d missed that on more than one occasion. Having been around Lexi’s son had made Aidan miss his own daughter even more than usual. He knew he needed to tell Lexi about Gracie and that she’d probably find out about his family’s situation, or Lauren soon enough. It just never seemed the right time. Especially considering almost every second of his trip to Toronto had been above and beyond expectation and he hadn’t wanted to potentially ruin that or this… whatever "this" was. Now, on his last night in Toronto, Caine was surprised to realize how much he didn’t want to leave just yet. Sliding further down into the bed and enjoying the feel of having a woman in his arms again Caine closed his eyes to the reality of wakefulness and chose to slip into the land of dreams found only in slumber. A place where things like consequences and repercussions didn't exist. For now he would try not to worry about it. For now he would pretend this was nothing to be concerned about. It was just two consenting adults having a good time together. Nothing more. Right…
Aidan Caine: Aidan you are an idiot…
So when Bill Adams called Caine up the night before and told him he’d like Caine to cut a promo for his match against Kried at the next evening's house show and had asked Caine to try and make it something “fun and different for the fans,” Aidan had assured him that he’d chosen the right guy for the job. Caine had spent the rest of the night, already a casualty to insomnia, coming up with something “fun and different” and writing. Now as Caine prepared to step through the black curtains of the gorilla he began to second guess his idea of what was fun, though there was no denying this would be something most certainly different. The first chords of his music began to play and Caine gave a silent shrug. It was too late to change anything now. The crew had already set up the ring with everything he needed for his planned promo not to mention Aidan simply already had too much on his mind to just “wing” this one. Any other day perhaps, just not this one.
He waited three more beats and then through the curtains he shot, arms raised, title belt around his waist lightly banging back against his bare chest as he jogged from one side of the stage to the next. He gave a huge grin at the reception that greeted his arrival, especially the salutations of the females in attendance as they took in his appearance. Dressed in the apparel befitting the theme of his promo for the evening Caine was decked out in a pair of his very own, worn in, black cowboy boots, distressed low-riding boot-cut jeans, sans shirt, and black cowboy hat. He felt more like a Chippendales dancer than if he were actually out exploring the woods surrounding his house on his black Andalusian Ghost. For one, he would have been wearing a shirt, and insect repellent, and he probably would have smelled a lot worse. But promotions had said no shirt. Part of getting ratings was appealing to the opposite sex so, feeling a little like he should be hanging out on a street corner or wearing a banana hammock with a wad of George Washington’s stuffed down it, Caine had shed his collared shirt and done a few last minute crunches. Now as Caine walked down the ramp and neared the ring he had to laugh as something caught his eye. Walking to his left he had to exchange some high fives and fist bumps with the fans positioned in the front row. One held a “Rage Looks Constipated” poster and the other simply had a huge picture of Rage with the words “Baby Carrot” across the top and bottom. YES! The Twitter Universe had turned out in Minot! Still chuckling Caine expertly slid under the bottom rope and onto the black covered mat and after much more rabble rousing Caine picked the microphone up that had been left for him on a bar stool in the center of the ring.
Aidan Caine: So, apparently I’ve developed this little nickname backstage with a few of my coworkers. At first I just thought it was this one person calling me that. Then, one became two, two became three, three became ten… Anyone wanna guess what that nickname would be?
Caine smirked before making a grand show of his attire, propping one botted foot on the middle rung of the barstool and dipping his hat forward on his head to slightly bring its brim a little closer to his eyebrows.
Aidan Caine: Cowboy. The ladies have started calling me Cowboy. Thanks for that Bliss by the way. Who knew you were such a trendsetter?! So what do you do when you get pegged with a nickname? Do you deny it? Run from it? Stick out your bottom lip and pout? Well you do if your SOME people backstage.
For a second Caine pretended to cough, the words “Baby Carrot” however distinctly heard by all generating a round of cheers and laughter. Especially when Caine held up his pinkie finger and nodded somberly.
Aidan Caine: Oh yeah. I have it on very good authority - first hand horror stories of times left underwhelmed by female victims - that one of my future Roll of the Dice competitors comes up short not just in the wrestling ring, but in another setting where wrestling occurs. Maybe that is why he is always in such a Rage…
With a shake of his head and an expression of mock pity Caine made a quick return to his scheduled subject matter. He simply couldn’t not say anything after seeing that his twitter words at Rage’s expense had apparently stuck in the minds of fans. It was funny how you could make one simple comment and the next thing you knew it ended up trending worldwide.
Aidan Caine: But I didn’t come here to talk about Rage’s manhood, or lack thereof. I’ll meet that spineless egomaniac soon enough and he will pay for his little sneak attack this past Monday, that I promise you. But let's not give Rage any more of the attention he so desperately craves. What do you do when you get penned with a name not on your birth certificate? You embrace it. Now, cowboys are known for wearing big belt buckles but, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one with a belt quite this big, or impressive, or permanently affixed. Yeah I said it, permanently affixed. I will be defending my North American Championship in a match at Monday Night Main Event that pits yours truly against the very man that I defeated to win this belt, Apostle Kried. That’s right! It’s World War II! History DOES repeat itself! This match is going to knock the socks off the last Caine-Kried encounter. It's got everything: drama, comedy, violence, German subtitles... It’s got all the makings of a B list movie!
Caine lowered his voice into a dramatic narration a ‘la James Earl Jones, appearing to pack his entire monologue into just one big breath.
Aidan Caine: Two men with a shared past of mutual hatred; one ring, everything on the line. A title, pride, self-respect, dignity, the ability to show their face in the morning, a space on a particular roster… all will be decided in one fateful night, one crucial match, by one very sweaty man. They’ve exchanged blood, sweat, and very-one sided barbs. Just when you thought it was over. Just when you thought you’d seen the last of USA versus Germany … just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water… You. Were. WRONG! Yes! They’re back and more tired than ever… The punches will be harder, the jokes will be meaner, the German will be more… German! Stemming from one awkward conversation about meat and a slap heard around the world this Monday night you will be astounded… by the pure beating one GAK will receive! Starring your favorite MPW Champion, the ruggedly handsome, extremely shy, brilliantly witty, and wildly successful Aidan Caine and… some other guy hardly worth mentioning. But wait, there’s more! In a move that could only make this round of pain more entertaining, scintillating, and captivating, making his in-ring MPW match debut, in a guest starring role, none other than the one, the only, he makes you laugh when you see him and shut up when you hear him, Tony Soprano in the role of special guest referee!
With a big gasp for much needed oxygen Caine paused, perching himself on the edge of the bar stool casually and giving the house show crowd their moment. He gave a large smile of appreciation as a chant bearing his name began and grew in strength until it filled the arena. Finally he nodded and began to speak again, mentally preparing for the self-induced humiliation he might be getting ready to bring upon himself.
Aidan Caine: This will be my first title defense. A champion’s first title defense is always his most important because see, if you lose, that gets people talking. They start to think maybe you only won that belt because you got lucky or you were the benefactor of a fluke. All credibility goes out the window. Might as well just give up shaving and hygiene, shack up in your house like a recluse, and take in 80 cats because it’s over. Now, seeing as I have yet to come out here and have one single completely serious thing to say to all of you since MPW began airing on live television just a few weeks ago, I probably don’t have much credibility to begin with, despite the huge chunk of gold around my waist… so I can’t afford to lose what little I do have! Especially going into High Stakes….
Then, as if struck by a realization, Caine paused, looking down at himself and his attire. With an expression that could only be described as “regretful humored reflection” Caine sighed into the microphone.
Aidan Caine: Granted, what shreds of self-respect I may have walked down here with I might have just lost seeing as I’ve already talked about another man’s penis, came out here dressed like Woody from “Toy Story,” and about knocked myself out from oxygen deprivation. SO… let’s just keep going shall we? Keep with the theme of making fun of myself. When you sink so low there’s really nowhere else you can go but up… unless you’re a few select individuals in this company. So, I know you’ve all seen what’s sitting in the middle of this ring right? And what’s leaning against that ring post?
There was a huge pop as indeed everyone had seen the curious items the ring techs had brought down to the ring just before Caine’s arrival. Slowly Caine stood, walking over to pick up one of said objects and carrying it back to his seat in the center of the ring. He tongued the inside of his cheek as he listened to the cheers grow in volume. When he arrived back at the bar stool he began talking once more, adjusting the large box-like structure at his feet and placing the mic into its holder on a nearby microphone stand as he spoke.
Aidan Caine: I’ve already made fun of Apostle Kried in every way imaginable: to his face, behind his back, on twitter, via interview, in the ring, in a gym, via Hollywood movie lingo, in an email to my mom, a meet and greet last week, a large banner dangling from a small plane that flew over Las Vegas for six hours yesterday… so what other way is there for me to tell Apostle Kried just how much he sucks, how much better than him I am, or how terribly he’s going to lose on Monday? I thought about it and there was really only one avenue of communication left. One surefire way of talking to Kried that even he could understand and no, I’m not talking about having to draw him pictures to illustrate my point. I thought about it but my drawings tend to look like something Michael J. Fox would have created… during an earthquake… if he drank too much coffee. So I had to try and think like Kried. Dumb everything down and channel my inner five year old. Frankly, it gave me a headache… What is one medium that even a grown man with a helmet-wearing –window licking - kid-mentality can relate to? And then, one day while flipping channels I stumbled across Nick Jr. and it hit me. If my 3 year old nephew can relate to this stuff then so can Apostle Kried. I mean, the kid picks his nose and eats it. He may be a whiz kid on a Wii, and he's family so I love him, but a child prodigy he is not. It was a perfect comparison to Kried. So the answer to the question of how do you get through to a man whose face looks like it got hit by skillet and shares the smarts of an amoeba? Easy. Through song…
No sooner were the words out of his mouth than Caine strummed a chord on his personal Fender 300ce 3Color Burst T Bucket acoustic guitar that he’d picked up from the corner of the ring. The laughter and delight of the fans was immediately apparent and Caine had to laugh at himself as he bent down once more and adjusted the amp slightly before moving the mic stand slightly closer to him. Bill Adams wanted fun and different? Aidan Caine would give him something fun and different. He began to play, the fingers of his left expertly moving up and down the neck of the instrument when needed as his right hand simultaneously alternated between thumbing the strings at the sound whole and tapping the body of the guitar at the pickguard to create an up-tempo country, blue-grass beat.
Aidan Caine: Cowboys play the guitar right? Just gonna live the stereotype for this one day only. You guys are so lucky. I wrote this last night just for ya’all. I call this one, “Catch Up To Speed Apostle Kried.” I hope you like it and please, be kind. I’m a fighter, not a writer.
With the quick flash of a smile Caine began to sing along with the music in a rather smooth tenor, his lower range harboring a slightly raspy quality that was altogether a pleasant sound. Brian Adams gone country with a little bit of Luke Bryan southern influence. Caine sang at home all the time to his daughter Gracie and he’d sung to Lauren a lot too when she’d been around but that was very different. Aside from a few drunken nights of karaoke, during which he discovered he more or less just shouted in an intoxication fashion rather than actually singing, he’d never really performed in front of a group of people before. Kinda seemed a little strange that his public singing debut would be in the middle of a wrestling ring but he reasoned that no one else in the locker room would risk doing something so ridiculous to begin with so he might as well have the honor of being the person known for not caring if he looked stupid. It was his shtick and it seemed to work just fine with the fans. As he sang his southern accent couldn’t help but come out. Words like “sure” became “shore,” “talking” became “tawkin,” and “your” became “yer.”
Thinks he’s gonna make it, pretty far
What he don’t know could fill a book
He’ll make you laugh with one stupid look
Now I’m facin this guy on Monday
He’s workin hard and I get to play
Let’s all just hope he’s got sick pay
Cause this here aint no classical ballet
So you all know who I’m talkin bout
A man we could do just fine without
Always the sidekick, never the hero
Less a ten, more an absolute zero
Well I’ve already done this once before
I was standing tall while he was on the floor
Now we’re meeting in this here ring once more
And of everythin I know, I know this for sure.
He’s got balls, size of a sunflower seed
Practically moving backwards at his full speed
When you go against him don’t take no heed
You know your winnin, it’s guaranteed
He’s far too easy to mislead
He gets run over like a damn stampede
His talents aint hard to far exceed
He’s a loser, oh yes he is indeed
Should do himself a favor and just concede
So catch up to speed Apostle Kried
Apostle Kried, big as an ox
Listen to his promos and you need Maalox
Apostle Kried, he thinks he’s a stud
Everyone that knows him just calls him a dud
I think it’s because he must eat paste
Such a waste of good roster space
You can see the wheels turnin all over his face
Too bad his hamster moves at a dead snail’s pace.
How do you move down, to Step Up
Don’t have nuff marbles to fill a Dixie cup
This guy knows he’s already lost
He just won’t admit it, his wires are crossed.
Are ya clearing your throat or ya gotta sneeze?
Can’t understand you, can you repeat that please?
Do I look French, Greek, or Japanese?
Here in the US, we know our A,B,C’s
He’s got balls, size of a sunflower seed
Practically moving backwards at his full speed
When you go against him don’t take no heed
You know your winnin, it’s guaranteed
He’s far too easy to mislead
He gets run over like a damn stampede
His talents aint hard to far exceed
He’s a loser, oh yes he is indeed
Should do himself a favor and just concede
So catch up to speed Apostle Kried…
Suddenly Caine found himself a little distracted as the amp stared to emit a low hum. He didn’t want to stop long enough to fix the problem but he also knew he could easily adjust it. Not to mention the interruption suddenly left Aidan’s mind blank. None of the lyrics for his next written verse were coming to him. Still, he didn’t skip a beat as he began to do what he’d done so many times in the past, he improvised.
Now gimme a minute while I fix my amp…
The fans began to laugh as they lightly hear Caine mutter a “damn” under his breath, accidentally within range of the microphone, though still in tune with the melody of the song as he pauses in his playing just long enough to turn a small knob on the amplifier. Immediately he began playing again, as if nothing happened. Unfortunately something had in fact happened and Caine still could not remember the first line to the next verse. So he simply kept improvising, a small smile starting to form on his face as he tried to recover and hoped he could find a way out of this.
I don’t even know
Glad this isn’t, a live show
Oh yeah, now I remember so I here I go
Time for a kick ass guitar solo…
Continuing to stall to try and remember the words he had just written a few hours before, Aidan launched into several bars of just guitar, changing the key and then returning it again. He was starting to laugh at himself out of mild panic, not sure what to even do at this point and the fans were not fooled one bit. Now they were simply laughing along with him, watching as he tried to play it off like nothing was wrong, even through every single person in the arena could tell that things weren’t going quite as Caine had initially planned. He knew they knew.
Guess that’ll teach me not to rehearse
This isn’t goin how I planned
You know I could really use an extra hand
Maybe next time I’ll just hire a band
That is, if this stunt doesn’t get me canned
But now I think I got it, I see the promised land
I can bounce back faster than a rubber band
Oh yeah Kried hasn’t gotta clue
Always asking where, why, when, or who
Eating his sausage and sauerkraut
Looks like he’s never had to do without
Yeah he’s whole lotta meat and taters
Never learned save some for later
I’m Lightening Mcqueen and he is Mater
He may be good but I am greater
Thinks he’s gonna beat me for this here belt
Couldn’t win it to begin with, it’s the card he was dealt
I made this match for his second shot
Cause I know the man doesn’t have a lot
Now it’s time for a bridge and then a chorus
This comes easily to me, Kried needs a thesaurus
Cause the Gak’s got the brain of a brontosaurus
What’s Germany given us, don’t make me scoff
Kried’s as annoying as, David Hasselhoff
Always runs in slow motion
Out by the bright blue ocean
Volkswagen and Lederhosen
Octoberfest and Beethoven
Heidi Klum is always posin
Best lookin German, I’m supposin
All backstage, we actually agreed
We cross our fingers, hoping he never breeds
Might like him more if he was a Swede
The guys needs to wake up, yes indeed
He even once told me I couldn’t read
Come on and catch up, Apostle Kried
He wants to be a champ, he wants to lead
I wanna slap whoever planted that darn seed
Cause now I have to step in and intercede
A wake up call is just what he needs
So before Monday’s over watch him bleed
Gonna make him beg, gonna make him plead
And on to High Stakes a champ, I will proceed
My path to glory he will not impede
So catch up to speed Apostle Kried
Yeah…
Catch up to speed Apostle Kried…
Aidan Caine: You all should know this part by now so, EVERYBODY! Here we go…
The lyrics to the chorus suddenly appeared on the large screen at the front of the set with a little bouncing German Albert Einstein head moving from word to word as a guide for the fans who indeed began to sing and laugh along, much to Caine’s shock and amusement. He stifled his own laughter with a smirk, bringing the song home with a rousing final version of the chorus.
Practically moving backwards at his full speed
When you go against him don’t take no heed
You know your winnin, it’s guaranteed
He’s far too easy to mislead
He gets run over like a damn stampede
His talents aint hard to far exceed
He’s a loser, oh yes he is indeed
Should do himself a favor and just concede
So catch up to speed Apostle Kried, yeah catch up to speed Apostle Kried, catch up to speed…Apostle Kried…
With a final three bars Caine strummed out the few last notes before leaning back on the bar stool and shaking his head with a chuckle. He leaned down and spoke into the microphone that was still on the mic stand, speaking over the enormous pop that had engulfed the building immediately following his last played note.
Aidan Caine: Wow! That was horrible! Worst in-ring promo ever! Why in the hell are you guys clapping? Don’t worry, we got through that… together. Thanks guys for your help at the end there. I hope you enjoy the rest of the show, I know there’s some good matches scheduled for tonight. Make sure you all tune in on Monday to watch me remind Apostle Kried exactly why I wear this belt and he never, ever will. Thank you!
Still holding his guitar Caine climbed out of the ring and slowly walked up the steel ramp. He had no idea what kind of response he would get from his fellow roster members but it was sure to be interesting and probably not too complimentary. Bill Adams would either love it or hate it, he seemed to be a pretty much all or nothing kinda guy. Caine hadn’t really been looking for approval though; from anyone. He’d just been looking to do what he did best. Stand out, be noticed, and never be forgotten because Aidan knew what Kried apparently didn’t. If you were forgotten, if you were suddenly just another guy on the roster or a man who couldn’t deliver as promised, your career would start to die and wither away along with all your hopes and dreams for championship gold.
